fightingspiritwarriors

By Jillian Bullock

One day I ventured into a lobby in downtown Philadelphia for a meeting and I saw  a group of people gathered. I fell in line wanting to see what everyone was looking at across the street. Like everyone else I saw a man grab a woman. They looked like they were arguing, maybe having a lover’s quarrel. People not only gathered in the lobby of the building, but outside in front of the building, too. Everybody stared, but nobody did anything. I immediately asked, “Did anybody call the cops?” At that point, no one had. But my insistence pushed the security guard to make the 911 call. When I saw the man slap the woman I pushed through the crowd to start my way across the street to help her when she broke free from the man’s grasp and ran off.

I learned on the news later that day that the woman went to the police to report the incident. Surprisingly, she didn’t even know the man; they were complete strangers. He stood on the sidewalk screaming and wailing his arms as people moved across the street to avoid him. He randomly picked that poor woman to assault. Her day, I’m sure, was totally ruined as she probably felt scared, traumatized, fearful, and violated.

In a country where 1.3 females are raped or sexually assaulted every minute, I wasn’t shocked by the violator’s action as much as I was disgusted by the action, or lack of action, by those who just stood there watching, but didn’t lift a finger to help the woman. I wondered how long those people had been watching the drama unfold outside before I came into the lobby.

Then there was the incident of a young woman who was stabbed in a grocerystore after she and her estranged husband had an argument. While she lay on the floor bleeding to death other people in the store acted like nothing strange or unusual happened. One woman took a picture of the dying woman with her cell phone, as another customer stepped over the woman to ask the owner for a bag of potato chips. Needless to say, by the time police arrived on the scene the woman was dead.

How about the young woman who was attacked on the subway platform in Philadelphia in broad daylight? As the attacker dragged the screaming woman pass the ticket agent their eyes met. He called 911, but he did nothing else to help the woman. In a dark corner of the platform, the attacker raped that woman.

When the woman sued the transportation company the judge threw out the case, citing he, the transportation employee, wasn’t required to do anything or to get involved. The judge acknowledged that the worker had at least called the police. It’s difficult enough to be violated by the rapist, but to be violated by the legal system, well that’s another story. Still, I wonder if that judge would have felt the same way or if his decision would have been different had the victim been his wife, or daughter or mother. Unfortunately, our society has become so desensitized to violence that most people just ignore it unless it directly affects them.

FACTS:

The NationalVictimCenter in the United Statesreports, 1.3 females are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56,160 rapes each month and 683,280 rapes each year.

Battering is the major cause of injury to women, resulting in more injuries to women than auto accidents, muggings and rapes combined. More than 1 million women seek assistance for injuries caused by battering each year. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

One out of every four college women polled was sexually assaulted during four years at college.

A dating partner has abused one in five high school girls. (Ms. Magazine Study on Sexual Assault and Rape)

According to a Forbes magazine April 2012 issue, the number of incidents of rape and sexual assault is on the rise.

Part of the problem and why statistics for rape, sexual assault and domestic violence are so high is due to the lack of concern by people who witness such horrific acts, but do nothing to intervene. Of course laws are in place to assist females after they’ve been attacked, but not much assistance is in place before she becomes a statistic. For example, a woman may file a restraining order against a boyfriend or an estranged husband, but that really does nothing for a female’s safety. It’s actually a sick joke to think that a piece of paper will deter anyone from crossing the line if his intention is to hurt or kill his girlfriend or spouse.

If lawmakers and society won’t do what is necessary to lower the number of rapes, sexual assaults or other violent acts against girls and women, it’s really up to females to help themselves. It all starts with women making better, smarter and more empowering choices in order to ensure their safety and reduce their risk of becoming a victim.

What You Can Do To Help Protect Yourself From Being Next

There are several ways to stop an attack before it starts, and although no system is 100% fool-proof, there are ways to cut down or to reduce your chances of becoming a victim of rape,  sexual assault or any violent act.

The number one tip – Situational Awareness. Know what’s going on all around you at all times, so you can see in advance when something doesn’t seem right and you may be in danger.

Additional tips if you are by yourself:

No headphones on while walking or jogging
No talking on your cell phone or texting while you are outside. Seriously.                                                                                                                                                                                                        No wearing ear plugs and listening to music on public transportation                                                                                                                                                                                                                No sleeping on public transportation
No fumbling through your pocketbook for anything – keys, I.D. badge, cell phone
No carrying more than one pocketbook or bag
No going to a new city, without a tourist guide, and looking around like you’re tourist or lost
No walking slow, with your head down                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     No parking your car in a dark parking lot or in an underground parking lot                                                                                                                                                                                                  No stopping to talk to strangers                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  No using the ATM machine at night or at an outside location

Picking His Prey 

There is something we used to do in the Army called the “military crawl,” where we’d get down, flat on the ground, and we’d inch our way slowly up to the unsuspecting “enemy.” We were quiet as a mouse. The closer we were able to get to our enemy during training drills, the faster we’d be able to take him out. That’s exactly what a predator does when he’s looking for his next victim – YOU! Don’t make his job easy. Be aware. Be smart. Make sound choices.